评：接着重点谈最受影响的例子——在SNAC罗马尼亚协会做志愿的日子。注意：涉及专有名词，第一次在文中提到因以全称展现，要是能加简短介绍就更好了。“和一名图形设计师和一名语言学者一起，我开发了针对残疾儿童的教育软件(dyslalia、诵读困难、后期演讲)，编程方面完全由我来实现。”这个志愿活动不仅展现了申请者的人格魅力，同时与个人专业相结合，运用专业做了实事，这是非常受招生官重视的关键点。对于这个例子，申请者阐述地非常有说服力，最后还谈了个人收获，简洁充实，童靴们可以好好体会一下。
Apart from my interest in computer science and my study preoccupation， I also give my spare time an important role， because it is the only occasion for me to relax. Music is one of my biggest passions， and that is why， in the 9th grade， I started playing drums. By choosing drums as an instrument， I discovered that I prefer order and rhythmicity， and I also discovered that I tend to keep a strict order in everything I do. When it comes to sports， I prefer swimming as much as I can， because it improves my self-control and is benefic for my health and spirit. In addition to this， during weekends and vacations， I practice alpinism， as I consider that it gives me the occasion to face and handle extreme situations. I recently conquered the highest peak in Romania， Mount Moldoveanu (2544 m)。 I also participated at a first-aid national contest organized by the Red Cross Romania， which gave me the opportunity to be the leader of a rescue team. This helped me understand better how to face critical situations and improve my leadership skills.
评：在文章倒数第二段，申请者安排了自己的业余活动。打鼓和游泳，申请者在音乐艺术和体育方面都有涉及，且分别谈了对个人的影响。更进一步，申请者突出了自己的一些独特活动，比如征服罗马尼亚最高峰、参加罗马尼亚红十字会，并提到了爱心、团队领导力等关键词。
I often think that computer science will give me the chance to reach higher peaks， and I really consider that it has already helped me see life in a different way. Programming gave me the chance to help many children with special needs， to meet interesting people， to discover a new world. That is exactly why I would like to study and follow a career in this field.
评：个人陈述最后一段可以用来补充上文没有提到的内容板块，也可以拿来做总结。这篇文章最后强调了对计算机科学的热爱，并将其比喻成要去攀登的另一座高峰，申请者甚至上升到了一个更有意义的高度——用这一专业去帮助他人。这对上文也做出了非常好的总结，也向招生官展示了一个对这一专业和未来世界充满希冀的学生形象。
个人陈述是申请材料中最为重要的部分，它是申请者与招生官直接对话的媒介，薄薄的一两张纸如何向招生官展示一个既有较强学术能力又有多样才能的优秀学生形象，这里面的学问很多，也希望各位童靴认真对待，多看范文，汲取营养，不断优化自己的个人陈述啦。