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申请文书声泪俱下 打动14所美国名校

【 liuxue86.com - 个人陈述 】

  曾经哈佛大学录取者Soa Andrian就将其不幸的童年经历写入自己的本科申请文书,并打动了包括哈佛大学在内的14所美国一流院校招生官。让我们随着出国留学网小编一起来看看这篇声泪俱下的文书。

  她的文书讲述了自己童年时期到访安塔那那利佛(马达加斯加岛)亲戚家遭遇到的一起威胁事件。“一开始我Common app申请系统中的主文书是围绕一次暑期课程中的公开演讲展开的,主旨无非是我如何克服害羞最终敢于在众人勉强展示自己。但是这样的文书题材和内容比比皆是,完全不是明智之举因为我的文书只是为了迎合招生官的喜好,并不是在真实的表达自己。这样做的后果也很明显,我的申请极有可能会被淹没在芸芸众生之中。 ”

  最终Soa Andrian推翻了自己的原文书,将自己的童年遭遇写进文书中,当然这样做最终得到了回报。除了哈佛大学之外,她还获得了布朗大学、芝加哥大学、哥伦比亚大学、佛罗里达大学、约翰霍普金斯大学、迈阿密大学、麻省理工学院、西北大学、宾夕法尼亚大学、莱斯大学、斯坦福大学和华盛顿大学在内的Offer。

  文书正文如下:

  Four boys stood above me on a pile of garbage. Their words, "Bota, bota, matava" — "chubby", "fatty" suffocated me:

  A familiar sensation of frustration and hurt gripped me. Looking for defense I only saw a cinderblock at my feet, impossible for my eight year old body to heave, so, I screamed in English:

  "You are just jealous that you are poor and I am American!"

  As the words flew out of my mouth, I knew I was wrong — there was no sense of triumphant satisfaction. I abruptly turned and ran into the refuge of my aunt's home.

  Upon finishing a tearful narrative to my aunt and father, I preferred the comfort of the former's arms. I avoided my father's disappointment: I knew as well as he did, that I was not the victim.

  Later, my hysteria subdued and guilt temporarily forgotten, I ventured outside to explore the crevices of Antananarivo. The boys were still playing atop the rubbish, then seeing me, scrambled off their mountain and ran in the opposite direction.

  It's okay, I thought, I wouldn't be a fan of me either.

  As I began walking up the street, I heard shouts:

  "Wait, wait!"

  The boys caught up to me and proudly waved hundred ariary bills in my face. In their broken English, they said in earnest and without malice,

  "Look! We are not poor! We have money! We are Amreekan too!"

  I agreed they were right and smiled sadly: one US dollar was the equivalent to seven thousand Malagasy ariary.

  I was made sharply aware of what separated me from these children: oceans, experience, money. Politics, ignorance, the apathy of millions. Ironically, it was also the first time I belonged to my "motherland". I could share in the simple joy of relishing what "is", be proud of the sense of resourcefulness engendered by scarcity.

  This memory has woven itself into my philosophy and my dreams. The very personal knowledge that millions live in a way such that electric toothbrushes are an unfathomable luxury (my cousin, Aina), has given me the following personal rules:

  Education is an opportunity, not a burden;

  You always have enough to share.

  While I may not be certain of my future, I know for certain that I want to serve. I realize that service is as important an aspect of education as is academic work. I know this passion will follow me throughout my life and manifest itself in my actions at Harvard. This memory is a mandate to serve indiscriminately and without prejudice towards those I work with. I am all the more willing to cooperate to bring improvement to the community within the College and beyond the campus. I can bring innovation in problem solving born out of the deep desire to help others. I work for these boys, for all the proud Malagasy (and even those who are not proud to be Malagasy), and the children who cherish "what is" instead of mourning "what could be".

  上文就是Soa Andrian斩获14所美国一流大学的申请文书,我们看到其实她的文书中没有华丽的辞藻,没有复杂的句式以及高深莫测的语法。所以对于还在和文书做殊死搏斗的你不失为一种写作指导。

  推荐阅读:

  美国本科留学文书申请素材汇总

  美国高中生个人陈述写作禁忌

  美国高中生个人陈述写作流程

  想了解更多留学资讯,请访问出国留学网www.liuxue86.com

  想了解更多个人陈述网的资讯,请访问: 个人陈述

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