1. Conceiving the unnecessary dichotomy of soccer/football.
(足球不叫足球，橄榄球才他妈叫足球)
Because why wouldn’t you call the sport that solely involves feet FOOTball????
handegg : American football. As opposed to football/soccer, where players actually kick a ball with their feet, american football involves players carrying an egg-shaped object in their hands.
2. And the general underappreciation of soccer/football.
(毫不懂得欣赏真正的足球)
Even though the U.S. qualifies in the FIFA World Cup almost every year.
3. Mandating their own unique measuring system that literally no one else in the world uses.
(使用全世界只有他们自己使用的度量单位——英制)
*OKOKOK two other countries (Burma and Liberia) also use the special metrication, but still, it makes conversion extremely annoying for the billions of people who were born and raised elsewhere.
4. Which makes everyday things like checking the weather that much more inconvenient.
(所以在美国查看各种温度都非常费劲......)
To translate fahrenheit (used nowhere else) to celsius (used everywhere else), you multiply by 9, divide by 5, then add 32… or something.
5. Creating its own lexicon and insisting the rest of the world is spelling their words wrong.
(为英文单词发明了新的拼写，然后说全世界其他人都拼错了......)
No, red squigglies, YOU’RE WRONG.
6. Disguising watered down coffee by giving it a fancy name.
(给咖啡掺水，还起了一个非常好听的名字——美式咖啡，Americano)
As if the name wasn’t telling enough: "AMERICA-NO" amirightamiright?
7. Over sweetening things that don’t need any sweetening at all.
(吃什么都往死加糖)
8. Setting the legal drinking age at 21 years old…
(21岁才他妈可以开始合法的喝酒......)
9. …when 18-year-olds are lawfully allowed to buy handguns.
(与此同时，18岁就可以买枪了......)
10. The cost of college tuition and constantly inflating the cost of college tuition.
(奇葩的大学学费定价——公立、私立，州内、州外学费差距巨大)
"The cost of tuition and fees varies by college," says The College Board. AKA it could cost a hell of a lot more than this chart projects.
11. Overindulging and spoiling their pets like little humans.
(过分宠爱他们的宠物，像对待人类一样)
12. Then treating their actual little humans like pets.
(然后像对待狗一样对待自己的孩子......)
And the ongoing discourse around whether or not you should put your small human on a leash.
