出国留学网雅思作文分析

出国留学网专题频道雅思作文分析栏目,提供与雅思作文分析相关的所有资讯,希望我们所做的能让您感到满意!

6分雅思作文以及考官点评

 

  对于想出国留学的同学们,可能会选择去考雅思,那同学们现在的水平怎么样呢?今天就来看一篇6分雅思作文以及考官点评。下面就和出国留学网一起来看看吧!

  The graph shows percentages of cinema attendance at least once a year in Australia between 1990 to 2010 with projections for the future. The graph is described by 4 groups of different ages which are 14 to 24, 25 to 34, 35 to 49 and over 50 year olds.

  The youngest age group people have been going to cinema more than any other age groups and the percentage has been keeping very high at approximately90% since 1990. It is predicted to keep the high and to increase more from 2006.

  The middle age groups people have enjoyed going cinema between 60% to 80%. The percentage of age 25 to 34 group has been higher than the one of age 35 to 49 group but from 2006 the percentage of 25 to 34 year olds people will decrease while the one of 35 to 49 year olds people will increase and get higher than the other one.

  The oldest people seem to go cinema less than the other groups but the percentageof the attendance has slightly going up by 15% from 40% to 55% between 1990 to 2004 and it will keep increasing to 60% by 2010.

  【考官评语】

  Band 6

  This response addresses the requirements of the task and selects relevant material to describe. Key features and an overview are presented, although clearer highlighting, more support and a more comprehensive overview would be needed to reach a higher band. Information is well-organised and there is a clear overall ...

2018年2月3日雅思作文真题分析与范文参考:老建筑是否该保留

 

  对于准备考雅思的同学来说,不知道雅思作文有没有把握呢?今天就和出国留学网的小编一起来了解一下2018年2月3日雅思作文真题分析与范文参考:老建筑是否该保留?

(图片转自百度)

  雅思写作真题分析

  本题其实也是要求烤鸭们论证,到底该不该对老建筑进行重新修缮?因为重修老建筑需要花费很多钱,那么到底值不值得呢?这些钱是不是该用于建新的住房,或者新的道路呢?因此,这里还涉及一个小小的比较:到底老建筑重要,还是新的住房和道路更重要?

  我们当然可以这样来论证本题:很多老的建筑物既危险,也影响城市面貌,因此完全没有必要重修,可以拆除它们,而节约下来的钱用于改善我们现实的住房和道路条件;但也有很多建筑物具有历史文化价值,是我们民族记忆的一部分,因此应该保留,花再多钱修缮都是值得的。这是两边论证的思路。

  我们也可以这样来论证:老建筑物虽然有价值,但毕竟只是与生活无关的价值。我们现实生活中需要更好的住房条件和道路条件,这样才能使城市居民生活更幸福,更和谐。因此,用于修缮老建筑物的钱完全应该用于改善住房和道路条件。这是一边倒论证的思路。

  本范文采取两边论证的结构。

  雅思写作真题7分范文

  Every city has old buildings. Every year the governments around the world spend large sums of money restoring them. Some people consider this a huge waste of money and they believe the governments’ budget should go to building new houses and roads, while others insist that the restoration of old buildings in cities is well worth the money.

  There are a host of reasons why some urban old buildings should not be restored. To start with, the old buildings are no longer suitable for people to live in, therefore they should be destroyed and give way to new buildings so that people, especially young people in the cities have more living spaces. Secondly, the old buildings can cause inconveniences for the city dwellers. Since there is not a direct route through the old buildings, people sometimes have to go to and off work by maki...

雅思大作文真题分析与范文欣赏:城乡差距

 

  对于准备考雅思的同学来说,现在对于雅思作文有没有把握呢?今天就和出国留学网的小编一起来了解一下雅思大作文真题分析与范文欣赏:城乡差距

(图片转自百度)

  社会类话题雅思写作大作文题:

  Some people think a rise in standard of living in a country only seems to benefit cities more than rural areas.

  What problems may those differences cause? How to reduce this problem?

  一些人认为,在一个国家,生活水平的提高似乎对城市的好处大于对农村地区的好处。这些差异会造成什么问题呢?怎样减少这个问题?

  雅思写作大作文思路讲解:

  题目解释:城市和乡村地区的生活水平发展不均;问可能导致的问题 和 解决方案

  开头段:由于本题是报告类,因次开头段只要引出话题并告诉考官将讨论problems and solutions 即可。

  雅思写作参考:

  The significant improvement in the standard of living in a country has sparked a major dispute in the

  whole society. Some people argue that this only bring advantages for cities rather than rural areas.

  Correspondingly, this issue poses a vast number of problems such as overpopulation, seriously damaged

  environment, which can harm the people's lives. My writing will go into further analysis of the problems and introduce some instant measures to tackle them.

  主体段1

  开头句:总体说明该情况可能带来不好的影响。

  关键词句推荐:The imbalance between the standard of living in cities and that of countryside poses

  a variety of possible painful repercussions.

  分论点1:城乡生活发展不均会导致农村居民大量向城市聚集,给公共设施带来负担

  ...

雅思大作文真题分析与范文欣赏:青少年的犯罪问题

 

  对于准备考雅思的同学来说,现在对于雅思作文有没有把握呢?今天就和出国留学网的小编一起来了解一下雅思大作文真题分析与范文欣赏:青少年的犯罪问题。

(图片转自百度)

  社会类话题雅思写作大作文题:

  Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.

  To what extent do you agree or disagree?(2013年11月9日真题)犯严重罪行的年轻人应该受到和成年人一样的惩罚。你在多大程度上同意或不同意?

  雅思写作大作文思路讲解:

  题型:辩论型

  类别:犯罪类话题

  题目解释:年轻人犯了重罪是否应该和成人接受的惩罚是一样的?

  分段解析:

  1.oduction

  大家首先需要想想为什么会有这种建议。不难看出主要的原因就是为了减少青少年的犯罪率,所以我们可以在第一段里写现在青少年犯罪率攀升(crime rate),为了遏制这种情况有人提出题目里说的东西(大家要改题哦。最简单的方式就是把动词punish改称名词punishment)。注意:大家在写开头段时不需要想一些无聊的套句,如随着社会的发展等等。

  2.tive sides

  思路:先反着想——为什么青少年受到的处罚比成人轻?因为他们年幼无知。所以为了反驳次论点我们说青少年现在接受的关于法律的教育很多或很深刻,犯罪时他们是知道自己要面对的后果的。当然严重的惩罚也会对他人有个警示的作用。

  关键词句推荐:be aware of. Realization. consequences. Profound. Be a deterrent to.

  3.tive sides

  思路:大家需要把重点放在“年轻”二字上。设身处地的想想如果你是十七八岁的少年,受到这么严重的处罚会是何等心情?所以年轻人需要有一个重生的机会。此外,不是所有的青少年都有受教育的机会。那些因为贫穷而没有受到教育的孩子怎么办?此时大家想想美国贫民窟的黑人孩子。

  关键词句推荐: rehabilitate. Deny sb of sth. Living conditions. Leniency.

  4. Conclusion

  表达自己的观点,并总结一下自己不同意的观点及解决方案。

  雅思写作大作文范文:

  Crimes ca...

雅思高分作文例句分析指导

 

  转眼间2016年就过去一大半啦,同学们雅思备考的怎么样了呢?出国留学网为大家带来雅思高分作文例句分析指导,希望对大家有所帮助哦!

  雅思高分作文例句分析指导

  1. 一个人的实际能力才是企业所真正看重的.

  It is ones practical capability that enterprises truly value.

  (这句话用强调句句型表达效果比较好.)

  2. 我认为我们发明一种新的语言来取代英语是没有必要的.

  I dont think it necessary to invent a new kind of language to take the place of English.

  (这句话有太多的同学用instead of来表示“取代”的意思,再次强调,instead of是介词词组,表示......而不是......的意思.)

  3. 然而,关于它是一件好事还是坏事,人们有不同的态度.

  People, nevertheless, hold various opinions in terms of the issue whether it is a blessing or a curse.

  (这句话有很多人用good thing和bad thing表示“好事”和“坏事”,在书面语中推荐用blessing和curse,绝对的less common vocabulary!)

  4. 很多国家的失业率在不断攀升这一事实是我们无法否认的.

  The fact that the unemployment rates in quite a number of countries keep rising can not be denied .

  5. 在给出我的观点之前,我认为看一看问题的两面是很重要的.

  I hold it essential to examine the both sides of the issue before presenting my viewpoint.

  (这句话有几个重点:首先表示“看一看”不宜用look at,那是“盯着...看”的意思,examine是“仔细审视”的意思,用在这里正合适.“问题”在这里应该用issue而不是problem,因为problem相当于trouble,一定是负面的.Issue表示“有争议的问题”,大家记住,雅思作文里讨论的话题绝大多数都属于issue.此外,present属于less common vocabulary,是“give”的升级版.)

  雅思作文栏目推荐阅读:

  

雅思作文写作考生易犯错误整理分析

03-05

标签: 雅思作文分析

 

  以下是小编为大家搜索整理的考生常犯雅思写作错误There are many students go abroad.这样的雅思写作错误应该怎样来修正?由写作名师为大家做一个详细解析:

  错误:There are many students go abroad.

  严重程度:★★★★★

  搞笑指数:★★★★

  这个错误在广大雅思考生的习作中是极为普遍常见的,从中文直译考量没有任何问题:“有许多学生出国留学”,“有”这个莫名奇妙的字在中章里常被当做一种语气助词使用,习惯进行汉英翻译的考生们便因此犯了名为“run - on sentences”这样一个错误。“A run-on sentence is a sentence in which two or more independent clauses (that is, complete sentences) are joined without appropriate punctuation or conjunction.”(两个独立完整的单句没有通过正确的标点符号或者连词进行连接)。上面的例子让我们不禁想起韩乔生名嘴那句有名的解说:“XXX以迅雷不及掩耳盗铃之势……”,令人忍俊不禁。

  探究这一错误的原因,分析认为主要还是考生对英文写作的句式分割概念不清,中文句子分割常常是从意义出发,只要意思没有表达完毕,可以一句连一句地持续写下去,直至内容结束。而英文句子是按照结构划分的,只要句子含有完整的主谓结构 (祈使句等除外,在雅思写作中不多见)就可以独立成句。如果忽视中英文写作表达的区别,就会出现 “一逗到底”的断句方式,这是很多雅思考生的顽症和恶疾。例子中的错误就在于将两个单句“There are many students.” 和“Many students go abroad.”想当然地混合在了一起。

  那么我们先来看看这样的错误应该怎样来修正?

  修正方法一:将句子分割成两个独立的简单句:There are many students. They go abroad.这种方法虽然没有任何语法错误,但连贯性不强而且过于简单,比较适合于写作初学者,在雅思写作中不予推荐。因此我们可以将其进行进一步的改良:1)增加连接词,根据本句的含义,可以增加表顺接的连词“and”:There are many students and they go abroad. 2)用分号分隔句子:There are many students; they go abroad.

  修正方法二:去掉根据中文直译而多余的“there be”,直接恢复成一个简单句:Many students go abroad. 句子简单明了,符合英文习惯。

  修正方法三:将其中一个句子保留作为主体句,根据句子意义将另外一个句子变成某个从属成分或是从句:1)There are many students going abroad. 2) There are many students who go abroad.满足了某些学生希望使用复杂句型或是非谓语动词的需求。

  在此提醒考生们,无论哪种方式,都是以遵守英文写作句式的基本法则作为基础的,将雅思写作简单地等同于头脑中观点的“翻译”是绝对行不通的。

  我们再来看一个也属...

雅思作文中中英表达差异分析

03-05

标签: 雅思作文分析

 

  很多中国考生在雅思写作部分分数并不高,一直得不到突破的一个重要原因就是中英汉表达的差异让很多中国学生在表达上摆脱不了中式思维和中式的英文句型,老师也发现了学生有这样的困扰,因此也针对雅思写作中英汉表达的差异提出了几个方法。

  在雅思写作的教学过程中,有机会批改了大量同学的雅思作文,在这些作文当中,有大量的同学并不了解英汉两种语言的基本差别,从而以汉语思维直接照搬到英语上来,写出了很多富有“中国特色”的句子,因此,本文将向同学们简要介绍英汉写作中最核心的表达差异,以期对同学的雅思写作有所帮助。

  英语重形合,汉语重意合

  英语是一种非常讲究语法的语言,而语法关系则通过一定的外显形态标记来表现;而中文则不用形态变化,靠词序、虚词、上下文关系等来表达语法关系。正如王力先生在《中国语法理论》“欧化的语法”一章中说:中国话里多用意合法,联结成分并非必须;西文多用形合法,联结成分在大多数情况下是必不可少的。” 如:

  他正在看这本书。He is reading this book.

  他已经看了这本书。He has read this book.

  这个例子比较简单,很多同学对此已经比较熟悉了,但是在写作中却经常有同学在这些方面错误不断。

  在汉语里,句子和句子之间通过内在的意义而非形式的逻辑关系来连接,因此常常省略连词、代词等成分。如:

  要大力弘扬新时代的雷锋精神!

  发展体育运动,增强人民体质!

  因此我们可以看出,在汉语中,连接手段是非必须的,人们完全可以通过全句整体来判断出词语前后隐含的关系。而在英文中,这种隐含的关系必须被“显性”化。如:

  他买了台电脑,花了六千块。

  就绝对不能写成:He bought a computer, spent 6000 yuan.

  而必须写成:He bought a computer which cost him 6000 yuan.或 He spent 6000 yuan on a computer.

  他今天没来,妈妈住院了。

  就不能写成:He is absent today, mother is ill.

  而要写成:He is absent today because his mother is hospitalized.

  这种只求“意思”不讲“形式”的句子在汉语里比比皆是,如:

  我们换个地方,教室正在上课呢!

  现在很饿了,我们去吃食堂!

  十块钱一下子就花光了!

  如果不考虑英汉的差别,直接按照中文思维写出:We change a place,the classroom is having a class./ Now is hungry, we go to eat the dining hall./Ten yuan spends finished. 之类则要闹出大笑话来。

  英语前重心,汉语后重心

  先来看一个例子,一封来自学员的E-mail:

  Dear Kevin,

  Though I know you are busy, will...

4分雅思作文例子分析

03-05

标签: 雅思作文分析

 

  雅思写作的满分是9分,一般来说要想申请不错的国外大学的话雅思成绩最好是7分或者7分以上,相对雅思口语来说,雅思写作也不是中国学生的弱项,因此中国考生最好拿到7分以上,否则很有可能会拖累雅思的分数,下面一篇只有4分的雅思作文例子,老师也将从细节方面对文中出现的丢分点进行分析。

  Topic:

  Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

  According to universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. Therefore, this essay will show some reasons of argument for and argument against.

  Firstly, I will discuss about two reasons of argument for to begin with universities should accept equal numbrs of male and female students in every subject because it will be balance of idea while studying. In general, there usually are different ideas between man and woman. These lead to new ideas from different vision will happen. Another reason is it display that have equal of society not eccept in each side. In addition, nowadays, the most societies become to accept ability of both in any way.

  Secondly, I will discuss about one reason of arguments against that is some subjects not suitable for each other. for example, some subjects of sports such as weight putting. It is not suitable for female because there are different of body between male and female.

  In conclusion, I agree with universities should accept equal numbers of male an female students in every subject. Moreover, it depend on what the subjects that the students want to study, they ca...

雅思作文写作用词分析

03-04

标签: 雅思作文分析

 

  随着雅思考试在全球的日益流行,越来越多的学生选择其作为出国留学的敲门砖。由于雅思写作有词汇这一项硬性要求,所以很多学生基本上将备考的大部分时间都用在了背诵单词这一方面,尤其是对于那些词汇量在3000左右的高中生来讲。但是雅思写作真的需要庞大的词汇量,当我们遇到不会的单词就非要查字典吗?朗阁海外考试研究中心分析认为,在实际写作或考试中,我们可以运用一些简单有效的方法,使它们成为得高分的有力武器之一。

  方法一:使用同义替换

  使用同义词的好处在于首先可以向考官展示自己丰富的词汇量,其次也可以使文章富有变化。因此,同义词的运用是衡量考生英语水平的一个很有力的标准,考官认同你的同时,自然也会给你高分。可以从两个方面进行突破:

  A. 同义词

  In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. (剑桥C3, Test3)

  Be engaged in: be involved in

  Regard as: take as

  Consider: think, believe

  Valuable: precious, priceless

  Important: crucial, important, essential

  Responsibility: duty, obligation

  生活质量提高,缓解家庭经济负担

  质量-水平 level、standard

  缓解-减轻 lighten

  负担-压力 pressure

  Improve living standard, and lighten the economic pressure of family

  B. 反义正解

  比如:在现在的生活,压力是不可避免的因素

  不可避免有如下的单词:

  inevitable/ unavoidable/ indispensable 这些单词基本都是6级词汇,对于高中生来说是比较难背的。

  但通过反义正解的话:

  不可避免=必要/必须的= necessary, 这句话就很好表达了。

  再如:父母经常忽视孩子的成长neglect/ ignore

  忽视=不重视,父母经常不重视孩子的成长

  Parents often do not pay much attention to the growing of children.

  方法二:具体解释

  有些单词往往找不到很多同义词,甚至一个同义词也没有,所以可以对其进行具体的解释说明。

  拥有天赋的人更有可能成为音乐家。

  天赋talent, ...